By Kevin S. Engle

“How did it happen?”

That’s what everyone wants to know.

It’s what I want to know.

Maybe when I was in the gym four hours a day, everyday, working on my abs?

Maybe when I was first on the scene of the accident and picked up the SUV all by myself so those people could get out?

Yeah, sure.

Or maybe it was what my doctor said.  Guys often get these injuries because males typically have what he referred to as “naturally-occurring defects” in certain parts of the body.

And that’s where this was.  In a ‘certain’ area of my body.

When I saw the doctor for the first time, I’d already had an ultrasound five days before.

I told him where it was sore.

But that’s not where he examined me.

“Ah, hey doc,” I’m thinking, “Hello!  You’re too far south!”

Turns out he learned a thing or two in medical school.  My pain was in one place but the source of it was somewhere else.  Somewhere ‘south of the border.’

Now what?

Surgery, in seven weeks.  Dang.  I was hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.

I called his office a few days later and asked if they could squeeze me in if someone cancelled.

They put me on the list.

Just over an hour later, my phone rang.  Amazingly, a spot had just opened up.  Did I want it?

“Sure.”

“We’ll see you in two days.”

Two days?  Yikes.  I wasn’t quite ready for that.

We had to be at the hospital by 6AM.  Surgery was scheduled for 7:30.

By 6:15, I was in a bed, practically naked, wearing only a hospital gown that tied in the back.

Don’t you love those?

A few hours later, when the procedure was done and I was back in my room, I had to face an embarrassing reality.

Several people had seen me naked!

Yeah, I know, they’re all medical professionals and that’s what they do and it’s just part of the job, and blah blah blah, but I was naked!  In front of total strangers.   And now I was traumatized too.

I don’t get naked in front of just anybody.  My wife had to get a license to see me in the buff.

I won’t even mention the catheter.

Physically, I’m recovering.

Mentally, this could take a while.

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In the future, the author will not pick up SUVs.  Only small cars.