by Kevin S. Engle
No doubt you’ve heard of that famous tower in Italy? The one that leans?
It’s kind of like that at my house. Stuff leans around here.
Our mailbox post is the worst.
It leans backwards as though it’s getting ready to do the limbo. If it keeps going, our mailman is going to need longer arms to reach inside. My wife is embarrassed by it. She says it reminds her of the 1970s sitcom Sanford and Son. Sanford was a junk dealer. I don’t think it’s that bad although a neighbor has offered to help me fix it. Several times. I think he’s trying to tell me something.
Along one side of our driveway, a lot of the smaller trees and blackberry bushes and other growing stuff lean toward it to get more sun. Every summer I have to trim things back so nothing will brush up against our cars.
Our driveway is fairly long and has a few bends and turns. In late fall, before we get any of that white stuff that covers the ground, I pound about a dozen posts into the yard to mark the driveway edges. When it’s time to gas up the snowblower and put it to use, I have a better idea of where the driveway actually is. Most of those posts lean.
On one side of the house, we have a small weather station outside. The display unit inside tells us the current temperature and humidity as well as wind speed. The outside unit rests on top of a six foot pole which leans slightly because of the rocky ground underneath. Friends gave us one of those yard art “spinners” years ago. It’s next to the weather station and leans even more.
Inside our house, we don’t have leaners. We have tilters. Pictures and posters hung on the walls often tilt a little to the left or right. It drives me crazy. I’m always adjusting them so they’re level.
Come to think of it, I’m even somewhat of a tilter. I often tilt my head to one side when getting a picture taken and don’t even realize it. My mother did the same thing. I can’t seem to put a hat on straight either but that’s another issue. And when I was just a little tyke, I stood soldier-straight in photos. Chest puffed out and arms down by my side. I have to laugh whenever I see little me standing at attention as if my commanding officer was inspecting my uniform.
I saw the Leaning Tower of Pisa once. I’d like to go back and see it again. You can even climb the stairs to the top. I want to do that as well. Then maybe I’ll know how my mailbox feels.
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The author always wanted to be a professional limbo dancer.
The Best of Engle’s Angle is available online or pick up a signed copy at a local bookstore.
