by Kevin S. Engle
I haven’t written in a while. My apologies. I’ve been traveling all across the country with my band. We just did thirty-five shows in forty days.
Do you believe that?
You shouldn’t.
But my wife and I did go to a concert recently.
It took more than an hour to get there and back. We didn’t get home until about 12:30 in the morning. That’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaay past my bed time. And that made me realize something. I could never be a rock star. And here are (at least) ten reasons why not.
10. I’m a slow name signer. When you’re famous, people want your autograph. They want you to sign their shirt, a piece of paper, a part of their body. And when you sign lots of autographs, you have to do it fast. I can’t.
9. Rock stars spend a lot of time on the road traveling from town to town for their next gig. I’m not big on road trips. If it’s more than a few hours, it’s not for me.
8. When I go to sleep at night, I’d prefer my bed wasn’t moving at 65mph. The same for when I take a shower and go to the bathroom.
7. And speaking of going to bed, rock stars go too late. I’m a morning person. How many concerts have you been to before lunch? That’s when I’d have to be on stage. In the morning when I’m at my peak. Those who know me best would say I don’t have a peak.
6. How many rock stars are bald? Hmm.
5. I don’t have a band.
4. I don’t play an instrument. And not only that, I doubt I could ever learn how to.
3., 2. and 1. The biggest reason why I’m not and never will be a rock star is simple. I can’t sing. That’s a tough one to overcome.
Oh well. There’s more to life than being a rock star. How about an astronaut? I’ve been hearing a lot on the news lately about people one day living on the Moon. I wonder what it takes to be an astronaut? And then I remembered something.
I get motion sickness.
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As a young boy, the author always wanted to be a professional baseball player. He hasn’t given up on that yet.
The Best of Engle’s Angle is available online or pick up a signed copy at a local bookstore.
